Another frantic pace on a weekend where the time disappeared, even though technically we had nothing planned and accomplished very little. When you have small children and the first day of summer has just arrived, life gets busy – luckily, in a fun way.

With Internet access at a minimum and expensive, since use involves my data, I turned cellular access off for long stretches of time, effectively taking a social media break. 

It gave me a chance to think about everything I’d read about marketing in the last few weeks. Amazon has changed its ads and Facebook is changing its reach and allowed use, again.

I’m less likely to be able to contact my readers unless paying for it and from the sounds of it, paid ads will be king from here on out.

I know I should work on them. I’ve read books on the topic, I’m soaking up as much as I can about them, but I just can’t justify investing in significant spending right now. Or is it that I don’t want to?

What am I waiting for? I don’t know. 

Maybe I’d like to have a few more books out, or that mythical free time unicorn that never seems to arrive to jump off the end of the rainbow-

You know, the one with the pot of gold at the end. 

Or maybe I’m struggling a little with imposter syndrome-  if I don’t advertise, then my level of success has nothing to do with me or my books, and everything to do with the fact that I’m not advertising.

Looking at my life, I’ve done that in many different ways. Like getting sick before a big exam so that I don’t care how I do.

An excuse, if you will.

A safety release valve to keep the pressure from becoming too intense.

If a stranger picks up my book and likes it, it’s a win. But if I advertise and no one buys, then what?

Eventually, I’ll get over this hurdle too. I made it through school and a hundred other situations that felt as scary or hard to figure out.

Right now, I’m enjoying the sales I’m getting, which are starting to pay for the editing and covers. I have a day job that pays my actual bills which means my books are allowed to be themselves and do the best they can,

and I’m allowed to use my free time to write new ones.

The unsolicited words of support and enjoyment for my books sends a thrill through me, even if it’s on the scale of tens instead of tens of thousands.

It’s my passion; my creative release.

As much as I write for everyone, I write firstly for myself.

To tell the stories that need to be told, to get all the people out of my head and create a world where friends truly do have the power to right wrongs, no matter how little or how large.

I write books where I can see myself and my friends, and all of the little girls who never see themselves anywhere, and have them save the day.

I write for my children; to teach them to keep trying, to get back up if you fall on your face and that as long as you try, you will never truly fail.

None of the reasons I write require ads or sales,

but all of them require dedication and time.

So for now, I’ll continue to carve out the few moments I have in my day to write more stories.

Maybe when life becomes a little less hectic, perhaps this summer or maybe the fall, I’ll dip my toes in the murky waters of advertising on both Facebook and Amazon.

I’ll use my time to hang out on social media, even if no one ever sees me there other than my friends and family. The places I go to be myself and see how others are doing being themselves.

Because at the end of the day, what is a writer other than a human who experiences life and is compelled to capture it in their own small way?

This summer, I’ll turn my face toward the sun enjoy its warmth and listen to the sound of my children laughing as they play, and remember how beautiful life can be when you are just enjoying the ride.